So, Have You Got a Boyfriend?

    I don't mind people being noisy, in fact, I kinda like when people are so interested in my life that they cut polite small talk and ask blunt questions. I write this now, but in most moments like these I like throwing up an awkward turtle hand sign instead of answering the looming, direct question.

    However, one of the things I quickly realized while living in Italy was that customary, polite American small talk frankly bored Italians. They like to talk: about you, about them, about what they're going to eat and who they're going to eat with. Never in a malicious tone (unless you sayin' sumin about their mommas) but in a never-ending dialogue about the activities surrounding them.

    The way Italians commentate on soccer matches, they commentate on people. She lives in Florida but is here just to teach, imagine her poor mom! away from her all this time! I eventually got used to being asked where I was going, who I was going with, had I been to the place before, did I know the owner? but the first time I faced the loss American polite-ness in a business setting, I was a bit taken back.

    After a chain of emails and highly-awkward broken up Skype convo (broken because I couldn't figure out how to turn my microphone on, so all my future bosses saw was a slightly blushed blond girl waving manically at the camera and pointing to my mouth. Why they hired me, I'm still confused about) However, they offered me the job of teaching English part-time at a private language school in Salerno.

    Within a week of the offer, I packed all my worldly possessions (I love the expression wordly possessions, because in this case it just makes the two unnecessarily large suitcase full of clothes seem a whole lot more meaningful than Forever 21 sale items) and jetted across the Atlantic towards Rome. With no more than a phone number for my school and an address for a hostel I booked only three nights at, I was onto the next adventure.

    The first day I showed up early in the morning to what I thought would be a casual get-to-know-you-meeting, I mean this was la dolce vita after all, at my school.

    "Ah! Sarrraaaa! Hello! one moment, please." The two owners of the school, who I recognized from our awkward Skype conversation were in the middle of heated discussion with another woman. They guided me to a small meeting room and asked me to wait. 10 minutes... 15 mintues.. 30 minutes later they came in, all smiles and rainbows like I hadn't flown halfway across the world, left my worldly possessions in an unlocked locker inside the hostel, got lost coming to the school and when I asked for directions from the sweet old lady standing at the corner, she promptly told me she did not live here. hmph.

     "So, for the interview.." Anna started. wait, interview? I thought I had the job, I would not have sold my beloved Jeep, left all that was familiar to me and start a crazy adventure if I knew I wouldn't have some sort of steady income. ok, "breath," I told myself, if this doesn't work out, you can always fly back home and have a great story to tell over happy hour. oh no, I am not going back to happy hour.

    "Have you got a boyfriend?" Anna smiled sweetly and Paula raised her eyebrows in expectation. A boyfriend? They want to know if there is a boy I sleep with on a regular basis who referrers to me not as "some girl" but his girlfriend. They don't want to see my visa, my passport, hell, if I even really speak English that well, that want to know if I have a bloody boyfriend!

    "Well, errrmm. No, in fact, I do not." I half smiled, half stammered.

    "Oh well, that'll change!" pipped up Paula. fat chance, but aren't we here to talk about school?

    "Ok, then, here's your schedule, we'll pay you 10 euro an hour and you start tomorrow. Ciao, bella!"

    My interview had consisted of my bosses prying into my non-existent love life. ah, la dolce vita indeed.